We went to the FIA for a quote from Max Mosley, but were told by a spokesman that he's a bit tied up at the moment.
There have already appeared some candidates for the role: Jean Todd, former Ferrari F1 chief, Paul Stoddart, former Minardi chief (who was the most vocal against Mosley in the past), Anthony Hamilton and Peter Sauber.
We hear that Jean Todd has rejected the proposition because he felt that his presidency would make too obvious what has been widely known in F1 for a long time: FIA means Ferrari International Aid. However secretly he confessed to us that the plasters he uses for his fingers would not match the suit he would have to wear in the FIA meetings.
Stoddart was another firm candidate, despite having left F1 some time ago for ChampCar. But as ChampCar will merge with IRL, he has now a golden opportunity. However when offered the job he got mad and just could say in an angry mood "This is ****ing crazy. This today is bullshit". Seems like he still has the same mood, and hasn't changed his mind after the Indy 2005 farce!
In a desperate attempt, FIA members tried to to hire a popular character, in order to improve FIA's image, and get rid of any racism attacks they could suffer after the incidents tha have happened this year. And they thought, who would be better than Anthony Hamilton, the father of the Mclaren's spectacular driver Lewis Hamilton?
Unfortunately, Anthony Hamilton requested for an unacceptable share of TV time (we hear that he wasn't happy with last year's TV coverage, and now asked for no less of 50% of the qualifying TV time, and 40% of the race time), as well as $10 million in return for his publicity appearances. And, what's more, he asked too for a crane at every corner, especially in wet races.
So finally the only candidate left was Peter Sauber, who is now just BMW Sauber consultant, but could easily leave the job. Mario Theissen couldn't stop crying after he heard he would lose such a good friend to the FIA, so promised to give Albert2 as a gift to Peter, who will use it for studying and creating new radical aero rules that would scracth the winglet ban, and would now reuqest no less than 6 'bull' and 'deer' horns in each F1 car, ala BMW-Sauber F1.08. Sauber added that, with Albert2 by his side, he'll be able to crack the whip and get the new rules introduced quickly.
The only condition asked by Peter Sauber is to have a couple of wooden boxes of extra fine Habanos brought to his working table every morning.
Expect to hear more on the matter soon.
Peter Sauber for president!
*Hope you enjoyed our April Fools story. Keep the discussion here! You can also particpate in our forum, at http://www.f1network.net/boards/list/s491.htm?936
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