The Fire brigade phone Jim Ballantyne in the early hours of Sunday morning...

" Mr Ballantyne sir, Broomfield is on fire! "
" The cups man! Save the cups! " cries Jim.
" What ?, the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir. "



You're trapped in a room with a Grizzly Bear, a deadly Rattlesnake, and an Airdrie Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?


Shoot the Airdrie Fan. Twice.




What do you call a dead Airdrie Fan in a closet?

Last years winner to the hide and seek contest.




Apparently, Jim Ballantyne offered to send the Airdrie squad on an expenses paid holiday to Florida but they said they'd rather go to Blackpool so they could see what it's like to ride on an open-top bus.




Sandy Stewart was caught speeding on the way to New Broomfield today. When questiond he said "I'll do anything for 3 points"




Knock knock
Who's there?
Airdrie United
Airdrie United who ? Don't you mean Clydebank ?

How many Airdrie fans does it take to change a light bulb?

Yeah, like they have electricity in Airdrie.




Three old football fans are in a church, praying for their teams. The first one asks, "Oh Lord, when will Scotland win the World Cup? ". God Replies, "In the next five years " " But I'll be dead by then", says the man. The second one asks, " Oh Lord, when will Celtic next win the European Cup? ". The Good Lord answers, " In the next ten years ". "But I'll be dead by then ", says the man. The third one asks, " Oh Lord, when will Airdrie win promotion to the Premier League? ". God Answers," I'll be dead by then! "

Typical homes in Airdrie

Ford Cortina - The latest must have in Airdrie.