- England v Australia Rugby World Cup

England v Australia Rugby World Cup 2003

Match Review - Done in Medieval Style for your entertainment and pleasure?......................

And so then...........on the 44th day of battle King Clive of Woodwoods and the English Knights entered the Telstra Fortress and the peasants (that's us)! lined the hillside all around - we held our St. George's flags aloft waving and singing Sweet Chariot.

Then silence as the young pages sang the World in Union Anthem, their beautiful voices rang out around the battlefield bringing tears to the eyes of all.

The English Knights led by General Jonno stood side by side amidst the banners of St. George and sang proudly as they ventured into battle for this final time.

The charge rang out and England and the Wallabies rallied against one another, and 6mins into the battle Wallaby Larkham sent up a huge bomb to the corner of the field and the Wallaby peasants went wild as the ball was caught by Wallaby Lote Tuqiri and he struck at the heart of England's try line but Wallaby Flats was unable to convert.

10mins after England gained penalty ground and White Knight Ulrich Von Falconshire Wilkinson used his rapier boot to pull back the points and once again in the 19 min. On the 24th min a wonderful attacking move, the ball sent over wide to the wing only to be knocked on at the last moment by Knight Kay of Tigershire a yard from the Wallabies try line. (Oh Woe Was Us)! Then again on 27mins the White Knight Wilko gained the penalty ground points. The Wallabies kicker Flats missed penalty points in this half.(Oh Woe Was Them)!

Then a charge of epic proportions by Black Knight Robinson of Saleshire, he had the ball laid off to him by the White Knight Wilko and the Black Knight Robinson, tore up the ground and dived over the Wallaby's front line.

TRY, TRY and the English peasants (remember that is us) went wild and there was singing and merriment all around - but our White Knight was unable to gain the extra two points conversion.

Half Time Australia 5 v England 14

The Wallabies came out strong in the second session of the battle taking penalty ground points constantly from the English Knights, nine penalty points gained in all by their Wallaby Flats. The English Knights making all the play and dominating possession breaking through the Wallaby defence time after time - only to lose the ball with the offence of knock on or the slippery ball dropping from their hands. (Oh Woe Was Us!)

47mins into the second half and again the English Knights pressing and the ball was kicked on and Earl Greenwood chasing for the line - only to have the ball kicked away at the last moment by Wallaby Rogers - using a soccer style kick (Oh Woe Was Us - Again)! - The crowd were gnashing their teeth and becoming fraught with tension.- but Swing Low kept ringing out from all around the ground.

Then 71 mins of normal time White Knight Wilko attempted a drop goal but the Wallabies were upon him so fast the kick was hurried and it missed. Lord Michael b'aath Catt replaced Tindall - and then catastrophe struck General Jonno angered the referee - and at the next slightest infringement by England the Referee (The Infidel ), called a penalty against England!

This was a BIG call by the referee who had been very hard on England's scrum all night. However, this allowed the Wallabies to get back into the game and pull level. (Oh Woe Was Us...............)!

Full Time Australia 14 v England 14

***************

Extra Time 10 mins each way

King Clive re-grouped his Knights and because of shenanigans going on in the scrum and being penalised by the referee, he sent on Leonard Earl of Quin to stop the rot.

The tension was becoming too much for some peasants who were watching from afar in distant homelands ( You see they had special mirror like boxes all over their lands beaming down images from the stars in the sky) - it is called technology ( Ha! It won't catch on though). Anyway I digress...

Again the warrior Knights came onto the field of play and within two minutes of extra time the Wallabies gave a penalty away big mistake this - White Knight Wilko slotted the ball over.

Half Time at Extra Time Australia 14 v England 17

Out they came again and the English Knights still piling on the pressure and dominating the play, Lord Catty attempting a drop goal and it was charged down but knocked on, the English Knights were lucky at this point as the Wallabies had three man overlap to the far side of the field.

The English Knights hung on and the Wallabies came back strong - the English defence held wave after wave a huge onslaught in the dying seconds of the second 10min period and then double catastrophe Knight Dallaglio came in from the side and......................... Penalty to the Wallabies again!!!!! - the tension was unbearable - Flats lined up the kick and it went over. Again the scores of battle were level.

The charge again from England - the Wallabies kicked the ball into touch - England won their lineout - the ball was set up for Knight Wilko who was waiting in the pocket - the Lord Dawson of Saintshire took off further down the field - General Jonno took the ball from Knight Backy and again Knight Wilko was waiting in the pocket - Lord Dawson cleared the ball threw it to White knight Wilko for a DROP GOAL - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Over, and over, and over the ball spun, it climbed and climbed and there was a deathly hush all over the battlefield as every warrior and peasant alike held their breath, and their hearts stopped for a second as the ball dropped through the sticks and over the crossbar.

Screeeeams of Joy rang out all over the World! - None more so than from Earl Squeaky Rob Andrew of Falconshire mentor to the young White Knight Wilko - Earl Andrew could be heard on a speaking box called 5Live (New Technology again - it won't catch on)! screaming as the ball went over.

The English Knights had 20 seconds left to receive the Wallaby kick off and then to kick that ball off the field of play - this was done by Lord Catty of Baath.

The Referee blew his whistle for Full Time - King Clive of Woodwoods and his English Knights had won the Rugby World Cup and the Holy Grail ( The Webb Ellis Trophy), was coming home on a flying bird known as BA's Sweet Chariot, to this green and pleasant land we know as this Sceptered Isle our Beloved England!

Final Score after Extra Time: Australia 17 v England 20

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The Sequel....... English Knights II v NZ Baa Baas 20/12/03

Well there is always a sequel with any good tale! It is told that the RFU Baron invited the New Zealand Baa Baas to test the World Champions at the home of Rugby - Twickenham. Well until the next episode this is Scribe Kath signing off........

ENGLAND

RUGBY WORLD CUP WINNERS 2003

ENGLAND

WORLD CHAMPIONS

ENGLAND

WORLD'S NO1 TEAM

ENGLAND

SIMPLY THE BEST

BETTER THAN ALL THE REST

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