By Kath 16/11/03
November 17 2003

England v France Rugby World Cup Semi Final Match Review - A tale of epic proportions related to you in mediaeval style for your enjoyment.

England v France Match Review

And so the battle day came upon the peasant folk, (that's us)! Gnashing of teeth and jangling nerves could be heard all across this green and pleasant land we call England.  Our stress levels became unbearable we could not sleep but the day dawned..

King Clive sent out General Jonno to stand before the flag of St. George and the anthem rang out as the English Knights lined up all good men true and strong, Knight Dallaglio overcome with emotion stood and waited for the call to arms.

Overnight King Clive had called upon the old magician's powers to send 'tempest-like' weather to slow the French down, knowing full well this would suit the English Knight's power.

And so it began, a nervous and tense start as they eyed each other, back and for the play went, the English piling on the pressure and once within range White Knight Ulrich Von Falconshire Wilkinson drew first blood (points) with at sweet drop goal 8 mins into the game.

And at strategic points all through the battle the peasants (that's us) watching from the side lines were rallying the Knights to arms with their songs of Swing Low, and We love you Jonny! 

Pack Knight Thomson, not managing to get his Line work correct again, made a huge error allowing the French in behind our line and they were at the gallop Sir Hill of Saracens unable to stop the charge - a try was made by Comte De la Betsen and the conversion by young Musketeer Aramis Michalak.  

The French now sensed real blood and the English Knights in their haste gave penalty after penalty for the offence of knock on - Fortunately for King Clive, Musketeer Aramis Michalak was having a bad hair - whoops kicking day and point after point went begging in the battle - the French Musketeer's Aramis Michalak, Athos Magne and D'Artagnan Galthie head's started to droop.

And then the tide really started to turn and the English gained advantages and penalties and that Musketeer Dominici cut Black Knight Robinson of Saleshire to the ground and in so doing earned himself 10 mins in the SinBin and he hurt himself too Ha!   

White Knight Ulrich Von Falconshire Wilkinson missed three penalties - but then regained his composure and could be heard as the battle raged screaming Mark! (not a cry for help from his brother Mark - who is back in Falconshire tending to the flock of  Falcons) no Mark was the call of battle you see!    He then went on and  slotted through another sweet Drop Goal 38 mins and a further penalty 40mins.

 

Half Time Score:  England 12 v France 7

Having re-grouped our Knights with a change of armour came back onto the wet and windy field of battle ( the hosts the Australians did not see fit to close the roof of the stadium you see? - the mean brigands! - we will sort them next week)!

Once again both fly-half knight and musketeer missed penalties in the opening minutes of battle - but then the English White Knight Wilko( his nickname), struck with a penalty 56mins and another drop goal 58mins then another pen 62mins and 74mins.  Musketeer Michalak got one more penalty  but the game was over for the French especially after Comte De La Betsen was SinBinned for a late charge on our White Knight Wilko.

and the peasants sang again....... 

King Clive kept up the pressure ringing the changes on the battlefield , Leonard Earl of Quin came on for his record breaking 112th cap, Lord Michael b'aath Catt was replaced by Knight Tindall, Sir Hill of Saracens by Earl Moody, Lord Dawson by Lord Bracken again adding more tinder to the English fire.  Looking West - King Clive sent on Dorian of Tigershire to uphold the pack formation. 

The French collapsed worn, torn and forlorn (Oh Woe is them)!

Final Score: England 24 v France 7

And so the Knights of the Oval Table avenged the Dragon, picking up the Prince of Wales feathers and fittingly handed them to Prince Harry of England who had watched from afar ( as all good Princes do  -  Wink, Wink, nudge, nudge?).

Aye and they will be dancing in the streets of Sydney tonight eh!