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Pre-match preparation involved a club day out at the Test on Friday (a great day had by all) and despite DD's best efforts to get the Yank to roll the wicket he'd been directed by the ground staff to the wrong one!!! Apparently, this one
"didn't need rolling" - I think the 22 players who played would beg to differ.
Elvo brought quite a few spectators including one chap in a wheelchair who was very patient as we opened the gate. N.B. to committee - must see if we can improve disabled access, although it will be difficult given the layout of our
pavilion.
In the dressing room 'young' Max was getting stick over his latest romance. Old(er) Max was being very protective until Nick opened his bag to release all the pungent charms of a long hard season of stale sweaty kit. It was so bad he
banished himself to a spot on the outfield to get changed and I can only recommend that he takes note of the Lynx adverts if he wants to further his romantic career.
DD went out with Tim Burton who went for 'tails never fails' and found himself losing the toss and being asked to bat. A name like Elvaston conjures up visions of a typical English village and in keeping with this the team included a Fox, a Bull, a couple of Archers and a Pit Bull (apparently).
Plod opened from the pavilion end and after a couple of gimme's in his first over settled into a good line and length for his spell (13-0-48-2). Dave Olsen at the Church End again recovered after his first over (clearly the shock of being asked to open!) to bowl 'full and straight' as his captain had requested during the pre-match pep talk. The Archers were sent in to get the innings in flight and after feathering a few singles, a couple of well-aimed shots really
hit the target! Despite this the wicket was low and slow (nothing new at Duffield) but was uneven in bounce, nothing dangerous, but joyless to bat on.
The Archers, Hodgson and Barrett (I think the name is right) all batted well and made starts without being able to go on. Dave Olsen made a brilliant one-handed catch going the 'wrong way' to dismiss steady Eddie Hodgson caught and bowled.
Barrett was out to Plod's in-swinging yorker (PC version) or straight full-toss (Foxy the umpires version). From 65-3 Elvo progressed to 90-4. Elmo and the Gay Cavalier (9-3-15-2) were now bowling in tandem and steadily winkling out the rest of the Elvo team while keeping the runs down. Without ever appearing to do anything clever, Elmo had banana'd his way to figures of 13-4-16-5 bowling out Elvo for 116 in the last over. This season he has played very well and at over fifty gives hope to us all that we can postpone slippers, cocoa and viagra on Saturday afternoons until at least going past that milestone. (Yes, POTY I know you've started already but you've had a hard life).
Tea was taken and Mrs Saunders did an excellent job in delivering every last bit of food in the house as she was urged to keep 'within budget'! DD's family was well-represented as James Saunders was scoring for the first time this season after promising in April to do it every game!
DD and the Gerbil (he actually asked for this name on his cap?) went out to bat to face Burton and the good young bowler from the other end. DD sported his Irwin style sun-hat for the last time (the caps have arrived at last). He was promptly dubbed a "Flowerpot man' by the Elvo team and spectators. N.B. to first team - this counts as 'sledging' in the Scoobs.
Things did not go to plan. Stevo, GC and Olse were back in no time all with ducks. DD panicked just a little and two aerial shots luckily dropped short of the fielders and a direct hit run-out attempt was too close for comfort. Young
Max had to have a word with his u15 coach and told him to calm down! Max jnr was then promptly out to Foxy's 'lower' one - pitched half way and hit middle two inches off the ground. Wendal stayed around and batted well for 11 before holing
out at short mid-wicket. Score 48-5 after 20 overs and not looking good. Enter Jerry.
There followed a period of attritional cricket where DD hit a ball every three overs for 4 and in between both bats competed for the 'most boring' award. The leggie Bull came on and he and Fox bowled well in tandem. At 2nd drinks the
score was 72-5 after 31 overs, DD 50 n.o.
Meanwhile in the Score-box Ed Witten is helping James to keep up with the overs;
EW: If your Dad was a flowerpot man which one do you think he'd want to be Bill
or Ben?
JS: (pause) Ben, coz it rhymes with Den.
EW: (pause) Oh, I thought it would be Bill coz it rhymes with Gates.
(long pause)
JS: You know my Dad spells his name with only one 'n'.
EW: Yeah?
JS: (pause) Yeah.......wouldn't be very good for Dennis Pennis would it?
N.B. to Ofsted inspector - please stop correcting spellings on the message board and deal with this educational crisis in our midst!
Back at the cricket after drinks - Foxy throws up his chinaman - wrong line - 4 to DD - next ball 3 - next over 7, next over 4 to Max snr and everything is looking good as the Scoobs pass 100 - but then disaster!
Burton comes back on and Jerry holes out to short mid-off after scoring 17 in about 20 overs a great performance under pressure for someone who doesn't play regularly. He did give two c&b chances dropped by the Fox in flight and Burton
(of all people). Then, Bish goes for 0 and then Plod also for 0!!!!. The scoobs need 4 to win with Elmo at the crease for 1 ball and only Ed to come. Elmo leaves one outside off. DD plays 5 balls to fielders on the off side and then hits the winning runs through mid-wicket off a full bunger.
Burton finished with 4-44 and all the Elvo team did well on a difficult day. Despite two risky shots DD finished with a chanceless 75 not out, out of 118 for 8 to secure victory. Frankly the Scoobs were lucky and we have to work on our
fragile batting if we have any chance of improving. Tim told me afterwards that one of his targets is to finish as the best 3rd team in the division and - with due respect to Sawley - I hope they do that, they have given us two cracking
(albeit low-scoring) games and are a great set of lads.
We now have the baggie greens so the sun hat goes into retirement with a wonderful farewell performance. Next weeks report will be entitled 'Nutbrook, City Limits'......bring 'em on.
Related Links:
Dirty Den's April Diary
Duffield 2nd XI Fixtures
League Tables
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