By Mark Bodenrader
July 5 2003

Every year there are at least five bench-clearing brawls that seemingly form out of nothing and this season has been no exception.

Avid followers of the game understand why these occur, while casual fans always have trouble due to their unfamiliarity with the plethora of unwritten rules that govern the sport.

The following is a guide designed to help the nonchalants learn baseball's unofficial commandments and thus gain a greater appreciation of Abner Doubleday's wacky sport:

It's an unwritten rule to never make the first or third out at third base.

It's an unwritten rule that if a pitcher intentionally throws at a batter, you must return the favor in the following inning to show support for your teammate.

It's an unwritten rule that in a blowout, the team leading shouldn't try to run up the score. Todd Walker almost caused a brawl in Boston's 25-8 victory over Florida when he tagged up from third with the Red Sox well ahead. Swinging on a 3-0 count while playing with a huge lead is also looked down upon.

It's an unwritten rule that you should never bunt in an attempt to break up a no-hitter. That's according to Bob Brenly at least.

It's an unwritten rule that you have to use the word "strategy" numerous times when arguing against the designated hitter.

It's an unwritten rule that players must watch the All-Star Game from a sofa in the clubhouse once they have been taken out of the contest.

It's an unwritten rule that the New York Mets have to acquire players two years after they're officially washed up.

It's an unwritten rule that World Series games must start after 80 percent of the country is asleep.

It's an unwritten rule that the Red Sox must hold a division lead in May and blow it by August.

It's an unwritten rule that if the Cubs come to town, as a fan, you must bring a sign that says, "Put a Cork in it Sammy."

It's an unwritten rule that the AL Central is just a farm system for the Yankees.

It's an unwritten rule that Peter Gammons must pump up every prospect as a future superstar.

It's an unwritten rule that Roger Clemens must make one false statement per season. This year, the Rocket claimed that baseball asked him to wear the 300th win glove against Boston.

It's an unwritten rule that the Marlins must blow out the arm of any pitcher that shows promise.

It's an unwritten rule that Reggie Sanders has to play for every National League team before he retires.

It's an unwritten rule that the umpire is the real star of the game.

It's an unwritten rule that you are required to run on the field if you have seats along the first-base line at U.S. Cellular Field.

It's an unwritten rule that managers Tony La Russa and Bobby Cox are only allowed to win one World Series each.

It's an unwritten rule that the Yankees' pitching staff must have at least four aces at all times.

It's an unwritten rule that a new stadium has to be named after a bank. It's no coincidence that the Phillies' new home will be called Citizens Bank Park.

It's an unwritten rule that Jamie Moyer must be referred to as a "crafty lefthander".