I would have jumped at any opportunity to flee for a night and rediscover the real world. The chance arose when I got a ticket for ‘An Evening With Freddie & Pat’ at Welford Road.

Unfortunately the evening clashed with time scheduled for the final project of my degree. Luckily for me my supervisor agreed that it would be a good idea if I left slightly early to catch a train from Birmingham to Leicester whilst leaving the apparatus running all night to achieve super-accurate results.

So when it came to the day I spent the morning playing around with a rather expensive x-ray machine and printing off the results. I’m sure you’d agree that the thrill of looking for depth dependent lattice variables in superconductors would normally be enough to ensure a productive day’s work but with some respite from the world of science in sight I worked even harder than normal. Come the time to leave I ran off with my results to the University train station after deciding that I wouldn’t have time to dump them off at my highly desirable Selly Oak student mansion.

I can’t remember anything about the journey which means that it was probably the same as usual – a half-hour wait at Birmingham New Street for either a train to show up or to allow time for a driver to be found.

So that’s how I turned up at Welford Road with a few graphs.

Once inside the Underwood Suite we waited for Freddie to turn up. Finally he arrived, having consumed copious amounts of wine, and proceeded to do a half naked Samoan dance much to the delight of the ladies. Whilst we had been waiting for Tuilagi to arrive I had felt it my duty to help club profits by sampling the range of alcohol on sale. Although clearly not as under the influence as the Samoan winger it had been enough for me to come up with the idea of getting one of the graphs I had with me signed. I had identified one particular graph that was fundamental to the final results so this would have to be the one signed.

Pat & Freddie were sat at the next table and were already busy signing various things. I approached Pat first, he looked at the piece of paper in a slightly confused manner (this may have been due to the lack of labels on the axes of the graph). I explained to him that I wanted to include a signed graph in the report for my final year project, still not entirely convinced he asked “Are you sure, mate?” (with the kind of manners not normally associated with Australians) before signing. Freddie took less persuasion and just signed it.

Initial responses I got from physicists were not exactly overwhelming. I didn’t really expect them to be that interested (after all you can’t have much time for rugby if your life revolves around debating the significance of Star Trek and cultivating a big curly beard) but I wasn’t put off – I had told Pat that it was going to be in my final report so it would be.

After the frosty reception of the graph I decided that I would be better off including an edited version of the graph in the results section as well as the autographed one (along with verification photo) in the acknowledgements. This meant that I had to finish the report a day earlier than everybody else so that I could devote the remaining time to my most important section.

I handed in my report ‘Grazed Angle X-ray Scattering’ (exciting title) but had no response to my favourite part. I just hope rugby players outnumbering the physicists in the acknowledgements didn’t offend the marker.

Despite these physics related Tigers shenanigans I could never hope to live up to my favourite Tigers autographing moment which was supplied by Big Duncan F. Big Dunc won a signed rugby ball in a charity raffle. When he got the ball he found that it was signed by Lions coaching and playing legend Ian McGeechan.

Unimpressed by this signature (and who wouldn’t be with the Scot’s dubious club coaching credentials) he asked an even more legendary player at the event to add his autograph. John Liley seemed slightly taken aback when asked to sign the ball, initially I thought this was because he thought that he hadn’t achieved as much as McGeechan but I now realise that the famous swimming pool attendant did not want his name associated in any way with the less glamourous club from down the road. Thankfully Liley rose above this rivalry to add a touch of class to the ball.

Bookmark or share this story with:

• Digg
• Delicious
• Facebook
• Reddit
• Stumbleupon

SPORTNETWORK SPECIALS