I have always been a fan who revels in moments of stupidity (as my brother Mr Cheeky Monkey will testify) and as a result my favourite players tend to be backs, as they have much more leeway to attempt the ridiculous. So while some selections may perplex you, I'll attempt to explain them.

15 - Geordan Murphy: A player who is willing to try the ludicrous. You sit up and take notice when the ball goes his way, and he rarely disappoints (plus his selection will annoy my best mate who's from Limerick).

14 – Tony Underwood: A genuine winger who had the uncanny knack of keeping his shorts white while all 29 other players were playing in all brown.

13 – Richie Robinson: Chosen because of a crunching tackle on Steve Ojomoh, despite his appearance he dumped the Bath man on his arse.

12 – Stuart Potter: A tough guy in the backs, great try at Twickenham versus Harlequins.

11 – Craig Joiner: Chosen because of the time he had the nerve to wear black tights on a bitterly cold night. Token Jock.

10 – Niall Malone: Possibly my favourite ever player. The crowd never particularly liked him, but I liked the way that he played with flair and was prepared to throw the ball around.

9 – Austin Healey: It wouldn't be the most reliable half-back partnership but it'd be exciting. Despite what some say Healey is a genius and can create something out of nothing. Scored the best try I've ever seen in a Heineken Cup game against Llanelli at Welford Road; he danced through most of their team a touched down in the corner between the Members Stand and the A&L. Great player and an Evertonian, as most genius' tend to be.

8 – Eric Miller: Never reached his potential, but still provided some great moments, mainly in 1997-98. Spectacularly lived up to the Irish stereotype.

7 – Bill Drake-Lee: Good name, a double-barrelled name adds a touch of the aristocracy to the side so he's selected.

6 - John Wells: The first sportsman I saw to wear a beard.

5 – Fritz Van Heerden: Good lineout jumper, but excellent in the loose. Johnson's best partner yet. The thinking man's Ben Kay.

4 – Martin Johnson: Good at fighting and an excellent NFL pundit on Sky... well, an adequate one.

3 – Franck Tournaire: Has broken into my side after very little time at the club; you need a bit a Gallic flair. I'm looking forward to the summer when he will stride out in loafers, chinos, and a pullover flung over the shoulders.

2 – Richard Cockerill: Possessed the gift of the gab. There's nothing better than a bit of taunting.

1 – Darren Garforth: A professional sportsman despite looking like a space hopper, though his attacking talents are wasted in the front row.

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